Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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