Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
