I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
4 words: hood of his car
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
