He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
