if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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