we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
