I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
