I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
