More tranny stories later!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
