Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
