dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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