3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
