I wanna bring you to show and tell
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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