Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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