I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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