Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
