Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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