apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
FUCK WHALES
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
