Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
