He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
