my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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