It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
