you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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