Kiss
Puke
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
