Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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