kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
