Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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