i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
