its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
