Swine flu. Run for my life!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
