Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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