You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
