just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
