YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
