Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
