I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
