IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
