Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I want to make a zoo with you.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
