words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
