At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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