Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
