Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
