I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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