school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
