i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I touched a dick in church today
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
