i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
