Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I need to stop coming to work sober
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
