If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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