it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
