ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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