Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
