She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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