Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
