I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Michael Bay diarrhea
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
